Infidelity is one of the most devastating blows that can befall a relationship. With the right couples therapy, it can also be a turning point either towards conscious uncoupling or a deeper bond and connection.
Oftentimes, infidelity is based on a lack of communication. Because communication is such an integral part of maintaining a connection, a lack of communication often leads to a lack of intimacy. The two go hand in hand. Once communication and intimacy are lacking enough, space enters the relationship. This space is sometimes filled by an external relationship. This external relationship is often a form of infidelity.
Because the lack of communication is usually the start of the problem, couples therapy encourages members of the relationship to be open and honest. For some couples, this may be the first time in the relationship that they’re truly being honest with their partner and themselves. Honest communication leads to intimacy. Shielding your true feelings and motives, while satisfying a people-pleasing urge, actually erodes intimacy. Your partner can’t get to know you unless you’re honest with them. Even if that means risking disappointing or upsetting them.
A relationship of true intimacy requires honesty and vulnerability. This can be difficult for people to lean into. Luckily, couples therapy helps people, individually and as a couple, to be honest, open, and authentic. It can teach couples how to speak to one another in a way that is non-confrontational and productive.
Often, couples therapy can teach patients a kind of communication that emphasizes ‘I statements.’ I statements are phrased in a way that doesn’t implicate the other person in someone’s feelings or frustrations. It lets the speaker communicate their feelings by emphasizing their own reactions and emotions. This kind of communication can help to defuse potential conflicts while communicating a need or desire.
Tactics like this are taught in couples therapy. They can be used for any relationship and can be used through life.
Oftentimes, infidelity can feel like the end of a relationship. In many ways, it is. In the best case scenario, a new and stronger version of the relationship emerges after infidelity. This is a relationship that is based on communication and trust. A relationship that is resilient. A relationship that is authentic and honest. Working with a couples therapist can help you rebuild your relationship into the one that you want. Infidelity can create an opportunity for growth and learning. The process is not easy. It requires time, patience, and a lot of emotional energy. However, if both members of the couple are invested, it is possible. A very good facilitator of couples therapy is important, as well.
Couples therapy can create a safe space to rebuild. It’s a place where everyone can be honest and vulnerable. It’s a place where fairness reigns. It’s a place where everyone involved is sure to be seen, heard, and understood. It’s a safe space to air out the troubles and move forward to better times.
If you are interested in learning more about couples therapy, contact Brett Beaver. We are qualified to help with whatever you’re facing. Contact us by phone or online. We look forward to hearing from you.