Ever Wonder Why?
Well, humans are creatures of habit. We tend to repeat behaviors as this brings us comfort and security.
We also revisit items of interest/conflict because we don’t feel like there has been resolution.
We may bring up items of concern in a relationship because this keeps a barrier between us and the other person. If we are constantly in conflict, who wants to change or get closer.
We have yet to learn how to let go, accept/grieve.
We are still trying to figure out pieces of previous relationships and we are using this one to try to figure it out.
We are trying to punish/pummel the person into seeing what we see is the correct (Our) perspective.
We are trying to punish the other person as we still feel hurt/slighted by their behavior in the relationship
Not only are we creatures of habit and all of the other explanations, we also tend to have recurring relationship areas of conflict. The common ones are connected to:
The notion isn’t that we should talk about an issue once and there is no need to revisit the item. We used to believe that successful communication occurred when the topic of concern was addressed, resolved and never to need discussion again. Not so. The reality is that all relationships have recurring areas of difference that need consistent dialogue. The healthiest of relationships are those that discuss these differences in a manner that reflects/allows room for lively, respectful discussion of these differences/expectations. Those relationships able to have these discussions report more closeness and a greater level of satisfaction in the relationship than those that do not.
Which one(s) fit for you?